Take Control of Your Boundaries (Ep. 7)

Episode 7: “Take Control of Your Boundaries”

What are boundaries? 

• Tangibles 
  • Physical Examples
    • Moat with alligators
    • Property signs
• Intangibles 
  • This is where leadership lies.

 

Why is it important for leaders to have boundaries? 

Boundaries define us.

• What is me, and what is not me?
  • What are the things that you are all about? 
    • Your followers need to know what you stand for.
    • You need to know your responsibilities. 

When you take responsibility for your life, your life opens up to new options and choices.

What is at stake if no boundaries exist? 

• Confusion
  • When boundaries do not exist, we become confused as to what we are responsible for.
• Leadership 
  • Not knowing boundaries as a leader is even worse, because your people depend on your decisions for their well-being.
  • As leaders we carry the burdens of others. And that in itself is a very huge responsibility.
  • Leaders must learn how to carry their own burdens first, so that they can deal with the burdens of others. 
  • If we decide to deal with our burdens, then we can open ourselves up to others to help them with theirs. 

Boundaries help us know how to carry them (burdens) in a way that is helpful to others, but not debilitating to us. 

 

What are some boundaries every leader should have in place? 

• Time
  • Time is our most precious commodity. 
  • You can lose money and get back. You can lose possessions and get them back. You can’t lose time and get it back. 
  • The only thing that matters is the people in your life. 

• Consequences: 
  • All leaders think in terms of return on investment. But I’m not talking about money, again I’m talking about people and influence. 
  • Think of consequences in terms of a fence on your property. These imaginary fences help us to understand one another in terms of the seriousness of trespassing on certain parts of life. 
  • These fences teach us to live according to specific values and live our own lives based on our belief systems and what we are willing to fight for and guard and protect. 

REFLECTION QUESTIONS: 

• What are you willing to fight for, guard, and protect? 
• How do you bring people along on that journey with you? 
• What are you as a leader going to help others understand in terms of boundaries to help the organization you are in and take those relationships to the next level?

 

How do you know which boundaries are useful or necessary? 

Define boundaries that are going to:

• Make your life easier to understand 
• Help you make better decisions. 

That’s what people who follow you are expecting you to do. They expect you to make correct directional decisions and make their lives better.

QUESTION: Can someone determine appropriate boundaries alone? 

ANSWER: No, you can’t. 

As leaders, we have to remember that we don’t do anything alone. That’s what leadership is. It’s doing life with other people. 

REFLECTION QUESTION: Who in your life is helping you find the leadership boundaries?

When you don’t have boundaries you continually push people away. 

If you don’t say “no” to the good, how will you know when the great comes along? 

“Busy” is not a badge of honor. The last thing that your people want to hear when they come to you, as their leader, is that you are too busy to help them fix their own problems. 

Leaders fix problems, but more importantly, “leaders are dealers in hope”. -  Benjamin Disraeli 

REFLECTION QUESTION: Are you a dealer in hope? 

 

MO’s Final Thoughts: 

Do your best to create boundaries so that your people know what you stand for and how they can reach out to you as a leader to make their lives better. 

Book Recommendation: Boundaries, Cloud & Townsend 

Get Coaching: www.risingtideleadership.com

 

Special thanks to:

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